Story about a Joker and the Thief - Chapter 61 - Stingles (2024)

Chapter Text

The Warrior was a content, boneless jumble across the bed, one hand idly teasing through the contently dozing Ascian's hair as he laid partially atop her. A quiet, subtle glance confirmed it, his back sported a number of long, angry-looking red lines and she knew hers did as well from the faint sting as she shifted on the bed. A silly little grin curled the corners of her lips upwards, and she let out a quiet, happy little sigh as he stirred. Pale gold eyes slowly opened, before thosetalentedlips moved gently against her shoulder.

"... The Exarch is attempting to scry upon you."

"I take it you're stopping him from doing so?"

"-Please-, little Monster I can appreciate a man who likes to watch but this view is mine and minealone."

"Except when it's convenient to scar and scare people." She teased him, and he hummed and shifted so that he could nose along the side of her jaw and neck. "How long've we been gone?"

"A little more than a day. I already scared Mitron off. Shall I do the same for the littlest Tia who could?"

"Lemme see what he wants first. Where'd you send my stuff? I need my linkpearl thingy." She shifted as if to get up, but his arm across her torso tightened and anchored her against the bed. The Warrior blinked at him, searching his pouty gaze before chuckling softly. "I know, I don't want to get out've bed either. I'mcomfy. You'recountless times more attractive a thought than whatever he could be trying to find me for, but I'm their Warrior of Darkness, too. If it's not important, I'll tell him to figure it out himself."

Heaving a resigned sigh, he snapped his fingers and offered the earring out to her. She grinned, clipped it into place and then tapped it.

"Hey, Exarch, what's-?" The Warrior stilled, good humour evaporating. Emet-Selch studied her aether and then heaved an even greater sigh of resignation as he shifted to the side and then made his way to the edge of the bed, stretching idly as he continued to eavesdrop on her half of the conversation. Slowly, she sat up and tilted her head carefully from side to side, frowning. "Slow down, you're old. Start at the beginning. Okay. Estinien, yeah got that part. Look, just give him yours. Hey! Never got to say it, but thanks for the save. Okay, okay, yeah. Dragon, got it. That part's... Surprising. I didn't think he should be moving around just yet. Nah, he's on our side now. I mean, yeah, stay cautious, 'cause just 'cause anyone's on our side now doesn't mean that won'tchange. Hmm? OH, heh, yeah no, my fault that. But how'dyou get there? ... Oh. Well, I mean, good on him. He's sort've on our side too, for now. Ish. But yeah, dick move on his part, that. Yeah, no, I'll see what I can do. Ask the Exarch to get in touch with Thancred and Urianger, get everyone to meet in the Occular. Even the Ascians, they're with Urianger. Just 'cause they're going to the Source doesn't mean they won't come here. Yeah, I mean we only have the one stable portal between the two points but Ascians can teleport and bring people with them if they put enough oomph into it. Wait there for me? Perfect. Happy Hunting."

She unclipped the earring from her ear and set it aside, grimacing as he quirked a brow in her direction.

"I sort've forgot that there were more Ascians than just the Convocation members. They're doing a portal thing on the Thirteenth and getting together something of an army. Elidibus is an idiot and dragged himself to the Rising Stones and I don't quite understand why, Lahabrea's a dragon, apparently? Oh, and Zenos almost killed Gaius after hauling him and Estinien out of his dungeons because 'if you can hurt me you can go free' is apparently his thing now. I'm counting that as progress there, considering he'd've just killed them for sport otherwise."

"... Twenty nine bells. Barely more than a day and the world already teeters on the brink with your absence." The Architect tutted, pushing himself up off the bed and offering out a hand to help her do the same. She stretched and stifled a yawn, shrugging. "This reallyis unacceptable."

"Hey now, they're not completely hopeless."

By the time they were stepping out of the rift Emet-Selch had opened for them, everyone had gathered. Thancred, Ryne, Mitron, Urianger, Fandaniel, Lohgrif, Halmarut, Pashtarot, Estinien and the Exarch. She idly scratched the back of her neck and grimaced.

"Alright who didn't get a basic run down."Nobody raised their hands, so she nodded and continued. "Right. Thancred, Mitron, Ryne and Fandaniel, you're team one. You lot stay here, because figuring out if our plan with Eden will work and because the Exarch might need the help if you suddenly have a bunch of refugees coming through. Just because we think they're going for the Source doesn't mean theyare or that they're not going to split some forces and hit the other Shards. Pashtarot, Halmarut, you two need to go and keep an eye on the other Shards, and report back to the Exarch if you notice anything void-ie going on there. If anyone can get a message through to me, it's G'raha and, subsequently, King. Lohgrif, you Estinien and Urianger, me and the Architect are going to go back through and hit the Rising Stones for information. Remember folks, buddy system saves lives and there's not a one've you that'sexpendable. Any questions?"

"Who is King?" Halmarut frowned, folding his hands into the sleeves of his robes.

"King Titania. Fae lord of Il Mheg. Any other questions?"

Nobody had any others. The Sundred bowed as one, before two of them vanished and one of them moved to flank her. The dragoon hefted Nidhogg and turned towards the portal, and Warrior shot the Exarch a thumbs up asshe followed and stepped through. It was a short trip to the Rising Stones, and Tataru intercepted them with a rushed hug before pointing them upstairs to the room Gaius was in.

Elidibus had taken a seat on a chair near the window, Emmerololth standing at his shoulder and a pale yellow dragon hatchling settled on his lap and a midnight blue chocobo standing near by. The gunblade was sitting, propped up in the chair and looking worse for wear as the Warrior entered.

"Van Baelsar! You look like sh*t. I heard Zenos happened. Twice. Way to beat the odds for survival." She flashed him a smile, and he managed one back.

"Zenos is... A difficult foe. He said you had an agreement with him, and that such was behind his change in policy. He led me to believe you are to thank for my life."

"Hey, I didn't survive the trip from Garlemald to here trying to keep up with Estinien Longlegs. You did that yourself." She ignored the way the dragoon narrowed his eyes at her, before looking towards the clump of Ascians by the window. "... I get the dragon, but why's there a chocobo in here?"

"Igeyorhm. Lahabrea recently re-awakened her, though all involved parties are running a little shy on the strength required to alter their forms." Elidibus smiled slightly, before leaning back as Emet-selch made his way over andloomed.

"Emissary."

"Architect."

"I should petition to have your title changed toIdiot with a capital 'i'."

"So it's true..." Gaius stared at the floor under the clustered Ascians as one Paragon harangued another. "The Founding Father was an Ascian. I hadn't wanted to believe it..."

"How can you tell?" She blinked at him, and then at the group. "I mean, besides how they're acting, 'course."

"Ascians lack shadows." He nodded towards them, and the Warrior glanced to note the utter lack of them beyond what was cast by the chair.

"... I mean, I thought that was just 'cause Emet-Selch didn't havelegs but... Yeah, now that you mention it, none've them do, do they."

"I do too have legs!"

"Like that, yeah, but not the other way!" She grinned at the way the Architect rolled his eyes at her before he turned and resumed berating the tired looking, softly smiling Emissary. "Good to know, though. I feel like I might've been told that already and just sort've... Forgot. They tell you what's going on?"

"Something about more Ascians and a portal, along with an impending invasion. I should hope to have recovered enough to hunt my Prey before they arrive." Gaius lifted a hand to the bandages that swathed his torso, wincing slightly. Estinien scoffed.

"It won't heal if you keep picking at it."

"Coming from the world's worst wound-picker." The Warrior shot the elezen a smirk, and was cuffed upside the head for her troubles. She laughed it off, giving him a shove in return that slightly rocked him on his feet. "Don't think I don't know you're hurt too. Between the healers, their magic and some time you two'll be fine in a few days tops. I'm glad the two've you started working together though. I'm serious. You've got complementing skillsets-"

She blinked, trailing off as she watched Emet-Selch make his way across the room and fold his arms, standing in front of Estinien. For all that the elezen had height on him, the Ascian had a presence that was slowly starting to fill the room.

"Did you just swatmywife."

Oh. She blinked between the two of them, and clapped a hand over her mouth as she giggled quietly. Estinien's eyes had narrowed, his nostrils were flaring and his posture had gone ram-rod straight. She dithered for a half-second on whether or not to put herself between them, before doing so.

"Emet-Selch, I don't think the two've you have been properly introduced. This is Estinien, hunting partner, Azure Dragoon, former bearer of Nidhogg's eyes and one of the few people that can keep up with me when I start really going at it. 'S an exclusive club, that's got him, you, Zenos and a handful of others in it." She turned around, leaning back against the Architect as she grinned up at the dragoon. "Estinien! This is Emet-Selch, sorcerer of Eld, founding father of the Garlean Empire, Allagan Empire, and a whole bunch more that I never bothered to learn the names of. He's the man I've taken within the circle of my arms and heart. An alternate title for him is Architect, because he builds things. Don't let it fool you though, he'd probably give you a run for your gil if the two of you fought."

Neither man moved, staring at the other, unblinking. She elbowed the Architect in the gut, hard.

"How do you do." Came his stiff greeting.

"I fare well." Was the equally stiff response as she clanked the metal toe of her boot against Estinien's.

"Estinien's a very physical person. Gives as good as he gets, Emet-Selch. Not big on word-play, though. I met him in Ishgard. Tataru recruited him to help take out Black Rose-making buildings. He was there, when Nidhoggate me. Pulled me out've the jaws himself."That made the Architect frown faintly, before he glanced down at her and recalled the puncture scars across her torso. Looking back up, he grudgingly unfolded his arms. Estinien had lowered his gaze to glare unspoken words at her as she smiled cheekily at him. "What, it's true. You did that. I know, I know, flight or fight. Try not to go too far, alright? I owe you the cheapest, sh*ttiest ale I can find."

And then he was gone, bounding across the room and out the window as if her words had freed him from some paralysis.

"... Never have I ever seen a man go from defensively enraged to utterlyyellow with the fear in his blood." Emet-Selch turned to peer out the window. "What context am I missing?"

"Swear on your title you won't go after him for it."

Everyone turned to study the two of them, before he eyed her curiously and inclined his head. "I swear he will be safe from whatever retribution I would normally muster for such things, whatever they may be, upon my title of Emet-Selch."

"Yeah, Nidhogg took over his body? So he sort've pulled me from his own jaws trying to fight the dragon, and spat me out before I could get chewed in half." The Warrior scratched the side of her face sheepishly. "Not a good time for all parties involved. He's a good kid though. Really rough around the edges, but that's part've his charm. I don't have to worry about being civilized around him, and trust me there's no freer thing than knowing you canbelcharound someone without them so much as giving two sh*ts. 'Less, of course, it stinks, in which case they just move upwind."

"Your explanation certainly sheds light on why his soul has a beasti*al, draconictwist to it." The Architect glanced towards the window, and sighed. "Nevertheless. We returned to see what we could do."

"Not quite. Returned to set a few things into motion before going on a road trip. Done being the Thancred to the Emissary's me?" She grinned at him, and he rolled his eyes. "Good. Gaius, I'm not the boss of you, but I'd like for you to consider working with us some more. Less against Garleans though, and more to help prepare against the attack we all know's incoming. Can you do that?"

"I can, however Zenos may prove to be a problem." The gunblade grunted slightly, adjusting how he sat.

"Don't you worry about him. I'm going to go and talk to him as soon as I'm done here. Urianger? I want you to work with the Emissary and Ascians to figure out how I can sunder souls out've a bloodymoon without waking up the primal within it. Elidibus? I dunno, open a zoo I guess." She grinned, and the white-robed Ascian chuckled softly.

"It wouldn't be the first time, but I think I may decline for now. It will be difficult for Urianger to work with me if I am otherwise occupied. I am also working with Mistress Tataru."

"Wise. Already you seem like you're doing better than you were in front of Eden. Only took slapping you silly, I guess. See if you can get us some figures on what we're against, but also if you get yourself killed I ain't saving you again." She pressed her lips together, and gave him alook. He raised one hand in a bid for peace, and gestured to the area around them.

"I will only leave this location if my very existence is at risk, Eschaton."

"Good-"

[No kind words of concern for me then?] The dragon sat up, staring at the Warrior who shrugged.

"Depends, are you gunna be a giant asshat? You're still on my sh*t list for possessing Thancred and killing a sh*t ton've people at Praetorium. What've you done, to balance those scales?" She clapped her hands. "Nothing. Not yet, at least. Emet-Selch earned a modicum of forgiveness. Elidibus seems to be weathering the Test of Tataru. All the other Convocation members are actively working on it."

[I have, though.]

She paused at this, before quirking a brow and shrugging. "Let's hear it, then."

[Thordanhesitated. Do you know why?] The hatchling drew himself up, puffing out his chest.[Because of -me-. I gave my life so that you could slay him, and with the Primal defeated Ser Zephirin was killed as well. I directly assisted your revenge for Haurchefant.]

The Warrior paused, eyes narrowing before making her way over. One hand came out to clamp around the hatchling's torso, lifting him with ease as her aetherroiled and strands of silver flickered around her soul with a soft pulse.

"Something that only happened, because ofyou. And, by extension, because you weretempered. Idon't like you, Bythos." He squeaked at his name, neck coiling as the rest of him curled to make himself seem as small as possible. "You werespared the sundering because Ididn't like you. Because I wanted you to suffer, for every little thing you did to make Emet-Selch's life difficult over the hundreds of years we were in office together. Because I wanted you to while away the long, lonely years knowing thatI chose someone else. Because youattacked myLovely and because of a hundred, tiny little things. All of these littlesins compacted, pre-tempering, pre-sundering and post. I wanted you to seeevery little thing you had worked to build come crumbling down around your ears. To you, I sent my power, knowing that you could not stop even a third of me. So no, little La-Hee-Brayer. I have no kind words for you, until you have proven yourself dedicated to the cause. Donot disappoint me."

She let him go, releasing him back onto the Emissary's lap as the strands of silver that outlined the shape her soul would have taken undamaged frayed and faded. She wobbled slightly, before Emet-Selch wrapped his arms around her.

"Cheap, sh*tty ales, then?"

"One or two, before we go. Bar, Estinien, then Zenos." She rubbed her temples, and the Architect stooped to scoop an arm behind her knees and lift her easily. "...Eighteenseconds. Thirty might be a proper limit."

"An apt observation."He swept them both out the door, leaving Urianger to step up and explain.

Story about a Joker and the Thief - Chapter 61 - Stingles (2024)
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